Written on April 13th 2019
A few weeks ago, a close friend of mine was upset about the fact that they didn’t receive the marks/grades they wanted in a particular exam they took. Not only this, but someone had actually mocked her for her marks, and I just found such arrogant behaviour not necessary at all.
There are a few things to say about this; firstly that there’s nothing wrong with ... getting things wrong.
Granted, getting what is considered a low mark in an exam is not the best feeling in the world, but trust me, it will mean so much.
I think we often expect too highly of ourselves. We expect to get good marks and impeccable grades from the get-go, but truly this is not the case for many things and I believe it is actually a metaphor for life experiences.
Imagine being dropped into a life that is perfect. Of course, perfection is often argued to be non-existent and/or subjective, but let’s say that by a perfect life, in this case, we mean a life with no obstacles. Just imagine what that would be like for a moment.
For example, you are born into a rich family so the issue of finance is never one that is present in your life. You excel at school and receive top grades. You get your dream job, you get promoted, you become the boss ... you find the love of your life, you never experience heartbreak, you produce a beautiful family and die old from natural causes with your loved ones.
Sounds pretty ‘perfect’, right?
No matter how good it sounds, a life like this is near impossible. Sure, you probably know of some people who live a life close to this, but what you don’t know is what is beneath the surface: struggles, obstacles, setbacks, times when they have wanted to give up.
That is because it is the obstacle which is what makes this ideology of perfection in the end.
How would you know what happiness is, without having experienced sadness?
How would you know what success is, without having experienced failure?
How would you know what good is, without having experienced the bad?
An analogy that I think describes this perfectly is this:
A flower had to grow through the dirt in order to blossom.
As cheesy as that sounds, if you pick it apart then it makes absolute sense :)
Besides, how f*ing boring would it be if life was just handed to you on a plate from the get-go? Honestly? The same monotone days over and over again? Having everything just given to you? Not having to work hard and taste that success that YOU earned? How boring and lifeless... imagine not taking advantage of the challenge? The beauty of achievement? Sounds hella boring to me!
It’s almost obvious to say that the only way you can truly learn is by making mistakes. I used to see getting things wrong in class or in exams as something to be ashamed of; I used to think I was just stupid and slow at getting things. I never used to voluntarily answer questions in case I’d make a fool of myself. But up until recently I just go for it, regardless of what others think. The whole point of being in that class is to learn that subject, and one of the ways to learn is to answer questions and ask questions and be actively resilient in your learning. I no longer care if I get something wrong in class, in fact I WANT to get something wrong so that I can see where there is room for improvement. For example, in my Geography class I am constantly asking my teacher ‘Sir, how can I improve this essay I wrote? Is there potentially anything I can add to make this better?’.
This is why learning is called learning. This doesn’t just apply to academia, but to life in general. Everything is a running process - getting things straight away is not common, nor is it plausible. I’m pretty sure you know someone who you think is just ‘super naturally smart’ who you see getting the top grades. In reality, you don’t know what they’ve gone through to achieve that. They most likely encounter sleepless nights and endless hours of revision. But, of course, they don’t tell you that, they don’t show you that. They show you what they want people to see. In fact, they’re probably the same people that tell you they haven’t revised for the test (when they have) and end up with the top grade. (I can’t stand people like that - just be honest! Be proud of your hard work!)
Secondly, I want to address people that mock others for their progress. Imagine being so low to make fun of someone who is genuinely trying hard? Imagine being so low to make fun of someone who has not reached a high level yet? Do people like this not realise that education is a learning process? You never know someone’s story. You never know what they might be going through. You never know their priorities.
Most importantly, I believe that starting off low and then gaining knowledge throughout to then result in high achievements is a much better experience than just getting high achievements from the start. Using such experiences is so incredibly useful for the future and it allows you to build up a certain rapport with yourself. Overall, this is more valuable. Next time you see someone not doing as well as you thought, don’t doubt their effort but doubt your own knowledge on them.
Lastly, I often find that when people are engaging in conversation, some are startled when their view is challenged. Not in an argumentative sort of way, but when someone offers a different perspective to that of the other person. Additionally, when that person is corrected on something. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being corrected, I’d rather hope that people see it as an opportunity to be educated, rather than being seen as the one who is wrong. I find it refreshing when someone can educate me on a topic I don’t know much of.
There you have it: mistakes are part of the process, mistakes are how you achieve your best, mistakes are all part of the learning curve.
Don’t ever doubt yourself for making mistakes, and certainly don’t view yourself as lower than others simply because you’re just not there yet. Everyone embarks on their own journeys at a different pace, so take that how you want and please take this advice next time you get anything wrong.
:) - Aurora
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