Written on March 11th 2019
My Sixth Form Experience
I finished my GCSEs and Year 11 in 2017. Results Day came a month later and I had surprisingly done better in subjects I didn’t think I’d do as well in - especially Science and Maths. This is when the catalyst of my self-proclaimed failure began; I pretty much ‘gassed’ myself to the point where I thought I could hack a career in Science.
Enrolment for college was approaching, I applied to a popular college in Central London with A-Levels in Physics, Chemistry and Psychology.
My dream? Neuroscience.
Getting those grade As in Physics and Chemistry at GCSE made me believe I could most definitely succeed in the A-Level.
Three months into my A-Levels, and I was absolutely sick of Chemistry. I found it boring, intensely difficult and a complete drag - I wanted out ASAP. Due to my late realisation, my college had not allowed me to switch Chemistry to Geography (my actual favourite subject). I was starting to panic and saw a very dim future ahead of me. What had I done? Why did I think Chemistry was for me? Physics and Psychology were going absolutely fine but I couldn’t allow one subject to jeopardise everything.
I moved colleges - I went back to my Secondary School Sixth Form, however, the only qualification offered in the Sixth Form at the time was the International Baccalaureate Diploma (IB) which consisted of 6 subjects. Oh, and did I mention that Maths, a Science and a language were compulsory?
My thoughts were flawed - I accepted it straight away as long as I was getting out of that depressing college environment and Chemistry A-Level.
December 2017, and I started the IB. I immediately clicked with the new students that came to the Sixth Form and formed a very tight friendship group. The whole year of Year 12 was just BANTER. Despite its difficulty, every lesson brought an element of fun. I didn’t take the year too seriously, but I did work hard. End-of-year mocks arrived, and I ranged from average in some subjects to above-average in others.
2018, the Summer that year was hefty. I wrote a never-ending to-do list of all the homework and catch-up work which was set to me during the Summer. I spent the whole Summer stressing my brains out, just when my indecisive light-bulb had lit up in my brain, again.
‘There’s no way I’m going to get a good grade in the IB’
‘There’s no way I’m going to get into a top Russell Group University with the IB’
‘There’s no way I’m going to pass Maths and Biology’
On and on and on. This fury of self-doubt would not stop.
I discussed re-taking the year and starting all over again with my friend, Chantel, who was in the same position as me. This meant that I could try A-Levels again, since my Sixth Form had started afresh with A-Levels.
Chantel and I were going back and forth like a tennis match.
Continue with IB ... retake A-Levels ... continue with IB ... retake A-Levels ...
After weeks of weighing out Pros and Cons, we had both decided to start the year again, with A-Levels.
I chose Geography, Psychology and Sociology - with the mindset that all of my subjects are essay-based and well within my writing capabilities and interests in order to securely prepare me for a degree in Law.
February approached, and a wave of regret hit me when I did not pick French. I have always loved French and was desperate to be fluent. Thus, out of the blue, I asked my head of year if I could switch Sociology to French (yes, 6 months into A-Levels). With my pre-set intermediate French knowledge, I was actually allowed to do French.
What is my future looking like now?
I visited Barcelona last week, (4th - 8th March) and the trip had enlightened me. I was inspired even more by Geography. Therefore, I have finally decided to pursue Geography in University. The subject is incredibly dynamic and misunderstood by most (people who think Geography is just ‘rocks’ when clearly I’M INTERESTED IN HUMAN GEOGRAPHY) and I was absolutely baffled as to what had stopped me from wanting to pursue it in Uni before. I think perhaps this preliminary perception of it stopped me. But now, I’m confident in doing what is best for ME, and since it has always been my favourite subject - why not?
Besides, since I desire to go into Law anyway, I can still become a lawyer with a Geography degree. All I have to do is convert to Law when I graduate through the GDL, and then it’s all kushti. I’d rather study something I have a passion for and still become a lawyer, than study a dry degree like Law for 3 years straight.
Moral
I think the main advice I can give from my long, indecisive experience with academics is to just stick to what you know. By that, I mean to recognise where your strengths and interests lie. Not to pursue something for the sake of it, or because it ‘looks good’. Not to pursue something as a chase for money.
Not to pursue something because the thought of it is exciting, but rather to pursue something because the process of it genuinely excites you. Even if you believe you are not necessarily ‘naturally’ good at it, as long as you develop a deep interest for it, then you will be motivated to learn it. That’s how I feel with French - I am definitely nowhere near the best French speaker in my class, but because I love learning it, I know I will do well to an extent.
Overall, I am so incredibly glad I decided to re-take a year. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have discovered my true passion for what to study in University. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have weighed out all my options. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have met all of the amazing people I know in the year below me.
Initially, there is a stigma around re-takes as being ‘failures’ or people who couldn’t ‘hack’ what they were doing. But, being truly honest, I believe it’s all a matter of knowing what is best for you and your future. Sure, sometimes I wish I stayed on the IB so that I could get to Uni sooner, but I know that it was going to be a completely different path that perhaps was not meant for me. Thus, I encourage you all to take a step back and reflect. Is what you are doing for you, genuinely? Is it for your parents? Is it so others can have a certain perception of you? What is it all for? I know that, for me previously when I finished my GCSEs, I chose science for the sake of it, for the sake of having a ‘smart’ career, but time had made me realised it was not for me. I realised I enjoyed science non-academically rather than academically. Maybe you should distinguish between your academic and non-academic loves too, before you make the same mistakes I did.
On that note, please reflect. Remember, the life you are living is for you in the end, so make sure it is one that is worth it.
Until next time!
-Aurora
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