Written February 17th 2019
January the 14th 2019, a random Monday evening, and some browsing on YouTube. I stumbled upon one of those common challenge videos - “I Quit Social Media For a Week” by YouTuber Ben Morris and decided to click on it out of pure curiosity.
When it had finished, I felt inspired to do the same. Ben decided to go on holiday with his friend, but without his phone. He and his friend seemed very care-free and genuinely happy. So, I messaged my friend Samina and asked her if she wanted to join me in the week-long challenge of not using social media.
You see, I would have completely got rid of my phone like Ben did, but the fact is I genuinely needed it for matters such as school, work and transport - mainly for safety reasons. But I believed the main premise behind the challenge was the social media aspect - the real addiction source.
Why did I do it?
I’ve been wanting to do it for a while, now. I believe I tried it before the previous year and immensely failed. I genuinely knew how toxic it was and how addicted I was to it so I just wanted to see if I could do it for at least a week.
It seems cliché and overworn, but I well and truly think that I was always so incredibly self-conscious about how I looked and hated how I looked because of apps like Instagram. It becomes so bad that, despite deleting these apps, the feeling of being so insecure is just irreversible for me. Yeah, I still think I look like shit and it’s always going to be ingrained into me. But I think the first step towards self-confidence is getting rid of that daily dose of comparison.
Not only does the appearance aspect of it damage me, but the comparison between my life and other people’s was just incredibly depressing. Everyone seemed to have a good time but me. I was aware that people just posted their highlights and not their downfalls but still, it got to me. But maybe all of this happened because I am overly-sensitive.
The Challenge Begins
I began by deleting Snapchat and Instagram - the two most toxic social media apps I had, in my opinion. I kept Twitter, though, for these reasons:
• I don’t view it as a ‘social media app’ per se, I don’t use it to contact friends and I don’t really have people I know on it
• I use Twitter mainly as a news outlet and a humour source - I often found out global news immediately through Twitter and I would only follow ‘funny accounts’
• I don’t really post on it, when I do it’s usually just a screenshot of a banging song I’m listening to or a basic tweet like ”I’m so tired”
So, for these reasons, I kept Twitter and did not ever view it as a toxic, damaging social media app like Snapchat and Instagram.
The First Week
The day after I quit it, I went to Samina’s house and we bought some ingridients to bake brownies. The activity was so fulfilling - we had so much fun through such a simple thing.
We often felt the urge to take a picture of it and share it on Snapchat, but we knew we couldn’t. That’s what was so weird - we were consciously aware of this urge to let everyone know what we were doing, even though we knew no one would care one bit. We’d say we were sharing it for us, but if it was for us then why would we share it? It almost felt shameful to admit.
Me holding the brownie batter 🤣
In the next few days, I started to feel the effects.
Firstly, I felt like I was missing out to some extent. I literally had no idea what my friends were doing, where they were going, if they were making plans without me ??? I knew nothing. But, that is exactly where I found all the beauty in it.
If I’m being truly honest, I don’t think I felt any negative effects at all, and I think it’s because I was so busy. I was working about 4 days that week and was juggling schoolwork, too. So, not having social media kind of went unnoticed in the first week.
The Following Weeks
I was starting to feel all the positive effects towards the end of week 1, so much so that I decided to continue the “challenge“ for as long as I could carry it. Days went by, and as I am writing this post it is now the 17th of February (which is also Kosovo Independence day!) a whole month and three days after I started the challenge, and I don’t plan on getting social media apps back any time soon.
What have I learnt and how do I feel about not having social media now?
• no one really cares about your life the way you think they do.
I mean, I definitely can’t generalise this point to everyone (maybe I’m just very, very unpopular). But after deleting social media, not one person had asked me about it. Not one person noticed. Not one person went out of their way to mention it to me. No one really knew, no one really cared. It made me think back to the fact that, whenever I saw someone post a story, I would always skip it because no, I didn’t care that you just ordered Domino's - and everyone else is definitely doing the same with my posts. It’s reciprocated. But I just wasn’t really aware of this. Just reiterating something I had mentioned before - people would always argue at this point saying “Well I’m just posting it for me, I don’t care if no one cares” but if it really was for you, why not just take a picture of it and save it on your phone for yourself?
At the same time, people really just post because they can or because they want to, and you really cannot argue with that. Honestly, you have all the freedom in the world, so if you want to post a picture of that cheesecake you are eating, then do it! By all means! If it makes you happy, then why not?
• Not knowing what anyone else was doing heightened my sense of independence
This point is definitely my most impactful one. Ever since I deleted it, IT FELT LIKE MY LIFE WAS ALL ABOUT ME NOW. As dramatic as that sounds, I had absolutely no idea what was going on in everyone else’s life - and, to be quite frank, I absolutely adored it. Not knowing what anyone was up to gave me nothing to think about, nothing to dwell on. I wasn’t feeling like shit every time I saw someone look very pretty or every time I saw someone take a picture of their holiday ticket to Greece. I wasn’t feeling like shit every time I’d see someone snap their books and thus leading to me feeling guilty for not revising at that specific moment in time. I just wasn’t feeling like shit anymore, period.
Ignorance is bliss, after all.
• I had so much more time on my hands
Ever since Apple released that ’Screen Time’ setting on iPhones, I’d been consciously aware of how much time I was spending on my phone. I felt so guilty. I honestly felt like trash.
What really sticks with me is just how valuable time is - it’s the most valuable thing in the world. Yeah, money means a lot, but if you waste money you can earn it back. You can’t do that with time. What also sticks with me is how fast time flies.
So, it got me thinking, what if I had utilised all of that wasted time spent scrolling through these apps into something ... productive?
That’s where it started - instead of scrolling through my Instagram explore page an hour in bed at night and an hour in bed in the morning, I would pick up a book from a huge pile of books and just read. That way, I was much more set for a beautiful night’s sleep and a productive day ahead. I got less headaches and I actually learnt stuff . (In case anyone’s wondering, I’m currently reading ‘Think’ by Simon Blackburn).
Not only reading, but I’m watching more documentaries and getting more schoolwork done.
• I feel happier
All of the factors stated above has eventually led to a more happier Aurora.
This new sense of independence, the longer days, the whole ‘ignorance is bliss’ thing - I’m a new person.
I’m constantly focusing on how I can become a better version of myself, how I can improve my lifestyle and how I can become happier overall. If I tell you one thing, it involves a lot of sacrifice and dedication. Who knew that something as little as deleting some apps off my phone was the first step to a new, happier me? Maybe I’m just being melodramatic, but I honestly feel happier than I’ve ever felt in a long time.
I’m worrying less about how I look like, and more about how I can come across - how I can channel my internal self to make an impact rather than my immediate exterior. I’m learning to accept that what I look like is nothing I have control over, that it was something given to me without my choice. But, what I do have control over is how I treat people and what is my choice is how I can become a better person and truly show that it is definitely what is inside that counts.
Conclusion
On that note, I would like to recommend to everyone reading this to at least try this same challenge for a week. Maybe you’ll hate it, or maybe you’ll love it like I did. After all, you have the choice to get it back.
Even if it is for a day, give it a go - you have nothing to lose. Maybe you’ll catch up on all that work you’re falling behind on.
I don’t think I will get these apps again but if I do, it’ll probably be in Summer (just because I know I will be bored) or when I start University, to just gain a network with people.
I am so happy I decided to do this, and it was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
Stay tuned, and remember to do what’s best for YOU!
- Aurora
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